dreams accomplished; dreams to be accomplished.

They say girls dream about their ‘dream wedding’ all their life. I was never one of those girls. My dreams were so different from the rest of the girls I knew. I never played with Barbies, dolls or tea-sets; I never dressed up in pretty dresses and danced around. In fact, I was awful at dancing. I remember joining a dancing team when I was 9 and couldn’t coordinate the moves perfectly for the life of me. Then when we would perform I never got into it and ended up looking like an unhappy rag doll.

Now, I can dance, at least I like to think I can.

I have loved animals all my life. I can still remember when I was 4 or 5 years old...my mom would always be buying me teasets and dolls. I was probably the most disappointed little 5 year old girl you had ever seen whenever that happened. I always wanted stuffed animals, dogs, orca whales or horses. I was definitely one of those little girls who pretended certain objects, bikes, broomsticks etc…were my horse. I would go galloping around and it was grand. I wanted my own horse so badly. I begged and begged my parents for one. Of course, because of their missionary lifestyle it was something I could never have. It was a dream I always wanted to make a reality.

As most of you know orca whales are my favorite mammal ever to exist. Their graceful yet ferocious nature has always intrigued me. When I turned 18 I sponsored my first animal; an Orca whale named Ben. Here is his story. “Ben was a young killer whale who was stranded on the beach of Mangawhai in 1997. He spent the night on the beach where he was looked after a rescue team. While on the beach Ben vocalized frequently in an apparent attempt to communicate with his rescuers or family group off shore. The following morning he was successfully returned to the sea where he joined his family group. He is often seen along the North Island East Coast of New Zealand. He is also occasionally sighted up in the Auckland harbor where Orca go to eat stingrays”.

When I turned 21 I purchased my very own horse. I have ridden all my life and have quite a bit of horse experience, so it was not a complete impulse buy. I had been part-boarding a horse for a year prior as well. Yet this was the first time I had a chance to make my “little-girl dreams” a reality. My mom was so surprised the day I called her and said “mom I bought a horse”. It’s just something most girls my age don’t have, and for that I’m proud.



I also remember how when I was young my mom would read me stories about children far away and tell me how lucky I was. I would always tell my mom that one day I would adopt one of those children so I could help in some little way. I even picked out names for the boy and girl I would one day adopt.

Someday the time will come when I can call my mom and tell her that I adopted a child from Africa. For now I have a sponsored child who lives in Africa. His name is Solomon. He is 8 years old and is in first grade. Can you believe that 10$ a year can put a child in school? 40$ a month supports Solomon, his mom and dad and two little sisters. I got this great idea to sponsor a child from my friend Dom who also has a sponsored child. After I sponsored Solomon I found out another girlfriend of mine… Christina has a sponsored child too. I really hope that more people can do it too, its only 35$ a month. Unless you sponsor a hope child like I do. Solomon is a hope child which means he is living in a community severely affected by the HIV/AIDS crisis. It’s only 5$ a month extra for a child like him; he’s worth it. All children are.Solomon Engoru, born July 28 1999. His favorite subject is drawing and his chores are babysitting his two little sisters. What a good big brother he is. He is also the only man I want to ever see wearing pink.

ONLY HE can pull pink off like a pro.


I don’t think I’ll ever dream about my ‘dream wedding’ and how it would unfold, if I ever get married. These are my dreams. As different and strange as they may be, I’ve had them ever since I can remember. Little by little they will be fulfilled. I believe.

end of summer BBQ and good friends. Doesn't get much better.

so yesterday my friend Stacey and her boyfriend Jason had a 'end of summer' bbq at Birds Hill Park. Lots of people came. Stacey, my sister Tina, and I rode to the park on our horses. We rode for about 5 hours yesterday. Only one person was brave enough to ride my horse at the bbq. At times the horses acted like idiots. Tina's horse Windy threw her off after all three horses spooked at deer and went running into the bushes. I'm surprised I stayed on, being that I'm the only one that rides in an english saddle. I'm sure my turn to fall is coming soon, being that Stacey fell twice in the past week and now my sister fell yesterday. I'm just waiting for my turn to come. I still haven't fallen off Tia since I bought her, which is wierd. I've fallen off many horses, but not Tia yet. Knock on wood. I told her, “Now you’re a real horseback rider, no one is a real rider till they’ve fallen at least once”. I can’t even count the amount of times I’ve fallen in my life riding. Tina has only gone a total of 5 times with me but she does a great job holding her own and managing horses, like Windy, who are a bit more high strung and harder to handle.

Tia and I at the bbq. right before we left to go home.

Tia with her fly bonnet on.


I'm stressed, annoyed, frustrated, anxious, confused, angry, and more. I don't really want to write 'what about' in here. I've saved that for my private journal that I write in, not type in, at home. I just wish it'd be resolved. I need answers. I can't handle much more of this.


Shawni

tia got her new winter blanket yesterday. its not her color (Hunter green) but its warm and it'll do.




LAST BUT NOT LEAST...me, christie, ben and kate went to coyotes saturday. I ran into some interesting people, all in all it was a decent time.

And In the day everything’s complex, there’s nothing simple when I’m not around you. And I miss you when you’re gone.That is what I do.

Being off for a year has made it quite difficult for me to get back into the groove of this thing called "school". I'm completely overwhelmed with the amount of work I have to accomplish in 2.5 months. I have 2 quizes, 5 exams, & 10 papers. It may not seem like alot. However, if you actually factor that into 2.5 months, aka 10 weeks of school that is a paper a week, and a little more than an exam or quiz every other week. No, its not too bad; no, I'm not complaining. I'm just not used to it anymore. Especially since I'm working close to full time as well since september is our busy season at MTS. My work is dull and not fulfilling at all. I wish I could be working somewhere else, making some sort of difference. Instead I deal with dealers all day long, entering in codes and activating wireline/internet and tv deals for my manitoba dealers. Oh well, at least it pays the bills, especially while in school. I can't wait to have my degree. I graduate April 2008. What a delayed graduation. I was supposed to graduate April 2006, thanks to the university and their deadly ways they screwed everything up, therefore causing me to have to take a year off school, and now I'm back and ready to finish these 9 credit hours and move on. I really hope this degree can help me find a job where I'm a bit happier and feel a little more fulfilled, or at least feel like I'm making a teeny difference in someone's life. Preferably a child. Children and animals are my soft spot, there is no other that is as gentle and innnocent and pure as a child or an animal. They really can do no wrong. I have no tolerance for those who harm either a child or an animal. Maybe I feel so passionately about the two because they can't speak for themselves. I feel like they need an advocate and sometimes I take that into my own hands, which at times can get me into trouble. I'm completely getting off topic now so I'm going to stop. This isn't making much sense. nice one.

Immanuel Kant once said “we can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals”. He was right. The same applies to children.

I know,you might roll your eyes at this. But I'm so, glad that you exist.

yesterday I took my friend Melanie Hanson....ooops Melanie Lysack out riding. It was her first time. I was so impressed with her. She kept control of her horse "roo" who did try to take off a few times in different directions. She did a great job.

On the way we stopped to see an adorable filly, who just loves human attention. I decided I wanted to keep her.


my sister did a "practice curl" on my hair friday night.

it was sweet.

I think I'll curl it more often now. Straight gets boring. you know whats even more boring? This post. For that, I'm sorry.

I'm gonna get back to studying and whatnot.I've been at school since 8am, I have class in 10 minutes, then I work till 8pm. Fun fun. I'm pretty stoked to have tuesday off with no school, then wednesday I only have school, then I have thursday off and no school. I'm going to get so much studying and riding time in, its going to be grand.

I'm looking forward to other things this month. They should be good.


Shawni

so blogspot is finally figured out

I usually think I'm pretty good at computers; yet for some reason I couldn't figure out, for the life of me, how to add friends on the side of my blogspot. It is so much more complicated than livejournal. Thanks to Jeremy I now have friends. So thanks Jeremy.


Shanti

And I'm leaning on this broken fence between Past and Present tense

So this past weekend has been insane. Busy is an understatement, stressed isn't the proper word, aggravated doesn't fit either, annoyed, sick...maybe. I guess it’s a combination of the above. I’ve been sick lately and haven’t been able to fight the cold and cough just yet. I refuse to fill out the prescription the doctor gave me, it’s pointless, I know it’ll eventually go away.

I spent my two days off Wednesday/Thursday helping my friend Melanie get ready for her wedding. I stayed at her house, watched her 3 year old daughter, went to her dress fitting with her etc... it was fun. IF I ever get married... I don't know if I'd have a big wedding. They are ridiculously expensive and the stress of planning it all just doesn't seem worth it to me. I'd rather just get all my friends and go to some tropical resort and make it quick and painless; like how Dom and Justin did it. Her wedding Friday was fantastic and she looked absolutely beautiful. All my friends are getting married. Wow. I feel old.
Pictures of Melanie's wedding here.
EDIT I Put the wrong link: here is the right link...

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=50486&l=21ec3&id=711000084



Wednesday evening and Saturday and Sunday all day... I attended and passed the mb motorcycle safety course. I have my bike license and now I can officially ride a motorcycle...on my own. Although I think I'm sticking to the back seat for awhile yet. Not to mention winter is just around the corner. I think for now I'll be doing a lot more horseback riding.

Monday morning my little sister Tina came back, boy was I excited, it was hard not to cry when she came down the escalator. I love having her around so much, I'm so happy she's home. Monday night I attempted tennis with my sister. Let me say, I love watching the US open on TV; unfortunately I am officially the worst tennis player in the world. It was really quite discouraging to be honest. I am so uncoordinated it wasn't even funny. My sister goes "you're not just bad, you're terrible". I've never been good at sports but I honestly did not think I would be as bad as I was. I'm not exaggerating either, its quite embarrassing how bad I am to be honest. A co-worker at work wants to teach me how to play, and as much as I'd like to, I think I'm a lost cause. I think I'll just stick to throwing the tennis ball for my dogs instead.

Tuesday night, after work, I took Tina riding. She doesn't ride at all...but boy she can hold her own so well. We were cantering and galloping pretty much the whole time and she did so well. She even kept her lazy horse 'Cash' going...

Today is the first day of classes; I just finished two classes and am now waiting for my third and last class to start. I'm taking social psych, developmental psych and ethics in criminal justice. School is always fun for the first few days, but I know as time goes by I'm going to be counting down the days till its over and I can finally graduate. I'm glad these will be my final three classes and I'll be done with school for good...Unless I decide to continue and take my masters, that’s something I'm still thinking about.

Pictures of stacey and my trail ride last saturday here: we packed lunches and rode all day. It was a blast.
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=48749&l=c3454&id=711000084