nothing else matters
So in the past two days I’ve been asked this question FOUR times… “Whats wrong with you Shawni?” …confused I ask them what they mean by that… they proceed to say… “well you’re a pretty girl, you’re intelligent, sweet, ambitious, so why hasn’t some guy snatched you up already? Is there something wrong with you?” (mind you…I’m only 23) That question has been asked to me in a very sincere tone by two close friends, one acquaintance and oh yeah… the brother of one of my best girl-friends, who by the way, is getting married tomorrow. I’ve met him a total of 5 times maybe and even he is wondering why I don’t have a boyfriend… of course there are my parents who think its odd that someone of my age is still single being that my mom was pregnant with me at the age I am now.
Is it that abnormal for someone of my age to be single and to have been single for quite some time?
When you’ve been asked that question four times in two days you begin to wonder… is there really something wrong with me? Am I too picky?
Or maybe is there something wrong with other people‘s views on when and why someone should be in a relationship? Is it wrong that I don’t want to settle for anything less than the best? Is it wrong that I have standards? Is it wrong for me to be a single, independent girl who doesn’t “need” a boyfriend to be happy? Why is it that someone of my age needs to be in a “serious relationship” for others to think that there is nothing wrong with them?
Personally, I think I’m fine. I think its sad how some people are afraid of being alone, so afraid that they jump into an intense and serious relationship so quickly;often with someone they just met and barely know. I’m not directing this at anyone;yet, it does make me wonder why people think that there is something wrong with ME, just because I’m not “taken”.
I‘m single by choice and not by choice at the same time. I guess what I mean is... I‘d rather be single than be in a relationship just because everyone is... or because I’m afraid to be alone. Of course, yes I’d love to be “taken”, I’d love to have that person by my side, that best friend, that person you can tell anything to, that person you can feel completely and totally comfortable around. Still, that doesn’t mean I’m going to jump into a serious relationship with just anyone just because I don’t want to be alone.
My last relationship was terrible, and I am not by any means scared of entering a new relationship because of my past experiences. I may be a little more reserved or cautious but I wouldn’t let that hold me back. Still, I did learn from that relationship…I learned NOT to settle just because you don’t want to be alone. And for that I'm glad. So to answer your question, or incase you were wondering, NO there is nothing wrong with me....that I know of.
Is it that abnormal for someone of my age to be single and to have been single for quite some time?
When you’ve been asked that question four times in two days you begin to wonder… is there really something wrong with me? Am I too picky?
Or maybe is there something wrong with other people‘s views on when and why someone should be in a relationship? Is it wrong that I don’t want to settle for anything less than the best? Is it wrong that I have standards? Is it wrong for me to be a single, independent girl who doesn’t “need” a boyfriend to be happy? Why is it that someone of my age needs to be in a “serious relationship” for others to think that there is nothing wrong with them?
Personally, I think I’m fine. I think its sad how some people are afraid of being alone, so afraid that they jump into an intense and serious relationship so quickly;often with someone they just met and barely know. I’m not directing this at anyone;yet, it does make me wonder why people think that there is something wrong with ME, just because I’m not “taken”.
I‘m single by choice and not by choice at the same time. I guess what I mean is... I‘d rather be single than be in a relationship just because everyone is... or because I’m afraid to be alone. Of course, yes I’d love to be “taken”, I’d love to have that person by my side, that best friend, that person you can tell anything to, that person you can feel completely and totally comfortable around. Still, that doesn’t mean I’m going to jump into a serious relationship with just anyone just because I don’t want to be alone.
My last relationship was terrible, and I am not by any means scared of entering a new relationship because of my past experiences. I may be a little more reserved or cautious but I wouldn’t let that hold me back. Still, I did learn from that relationship…I learned NOT to settle just because you don’t want to be alone. And for that I'm glad. So to answer your question, or incase you were wondering, NO there is nothing wrong with me....that I know of.
posted by lionamelie at
10:52 PM
6 Comments:
good one. im pretty much at the same place.
sorry...i don't really know you..but turns out i'm a pretty good blog creeper so i'm going to comment anyway.
plus i'm always up for a good discussion on why being single is so great..haha.
my mom was pregnant with me too at the age i am now.
almost 22. yikes.
i'm not saying i wouldn't love to be in a relationship either but at the same time i'm so stoked on doing my own thing and making sure my future 'mate' (i hate that word) is the perfect match for me.
i am totally with you on what you said about the fact that maybe it's other people's views that are wrong.
people are afraid of being alone, and unfortunately too many settle for less than they deserve because of that.
i'm also not saying that i'm totally not stoked for people i know who have gotten married and who have found that person for them...but i'm not going to get down on myself because i haven't experienced the same thing in my life yet.
i am of the opinion that God created us with the purpose of sharing our lives with another and with others. but who should be the judge of how soon that should happen?
certainly not i.
but just for the record though, and despite my overconfident and stubborn attitude, somedays i think there's something wrong with me too.
This comment has been removed by the author.
hey, don't worry I can be a blog creeper too. thats what blogs are for right?
I agree with you. I too would love to find that person that God wants me to spend the rest of my life with. I just feel that marriage is a one-time thing. I don't really believe in divorce. Which is maybe why I'm so particular about dating, hence, why I'm still single. I'm not saying I haven't found that person, maybe I have... maybe I haven't... who knows. However, in order to know that, these things take time; lots of time. I don't get how someone can "just know" when a person is the right one for them. Maybe its my cynical point of view that "love at first sight" doesn't exist. I think "lust at first sight" but I don't see how you can really, truly love someone if you don't know them. I've never been "inlove" so I can't really say, but I would think that loving someone comes after you get to know them inside and out, and you love them for who they truly are. Then again, maybe there are different types of love. The only thing I can say I fell instantly in-love with is my horse and my dogs, than again that is a different type of love than the love I would be looking for in a relationship. It's like a mother instantly falling inlove with her child. I can understand that type of "love at first sight" but I can't understand it when it comes to a significant other. Maybe I'm just too cynical who knows. I too have friends that have gotten married and have found "the one", and I am completely estatic for them, maybe even a bit jealous. Still, I definitely will not settle just because I don't want to be alone. I just don't see the point of putting time and effort into a relationship that I don't see going anywhere or not eventually ending up to be long-term. If you can't see yourself spending the rest of your life with someone, than why even get into a relationship with them? Than again, those things take time. You definitely cannot know right away if the person is right for you or not if you don't even give them a chance.right? Thats why I think the most important thing in a relationship is time. Truth and Time.
*ecstatic. wow bad punctuation, grammar and spelling in that last comment. sorry I was in a hurry. haha.
actually I should add trust is one of the most important things in a relationship. but that would be after an official relationship is already established. you need truth and time to get there.
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